-Feel me.-

This post is yet about gaming. ( I know this is boring but yeah the last post k =P. ) As you people know gaming has been my life for quite long and now here are some of my past nicks used.

[2oyal!s+]ult!m@ W3AP0N ( my very first cs nick ><)
[SkuD] WeaPon.
[NtP] SliE.B <> (my fav =D)
Ki5S.ultimatE
AXG.SliE
ToO.oOT

I just got bored one day during my TEP and just started to remember about this and since then decided to make it into one post. Since i got really bored(or just plain emo), i should just forget about these past nicks. Therefore, my new and final nickname would be D.E.M.I.S.L.I.E aka demislie and maybe, just maybe @ the end of all i will reveal what actually DEMISLIE stands for because there is a hidden meaning.

Sometimes i wonder if i really made the correct choice. By leaving the team. With not as much as a goodbye, i just disappeared. Even when i was asked to explain myself, i just ran away. Guess i was too scared to face reality. or him. now for the finale.

I would have stayed. I would have forgiven. If only, you had said sorry. Feel sorry that for as much as a friend (thats what he says cos im not really a friend to him), HE FORGOT MY BDAE. Reason being i actually emphasize that a friend really has to remember this very impt day. To me, it is doubly impt because its the only day that makes me feel special.

I was caught emo-ing by him(wierd how fate plans it doesn't it?) @ outside my room along the corridor. Not just once. Yet, the pain and sorrow i felt just couldn't reach him. But it was this that made him say what he really felt. "After that day @ cs, im no longer your friend." This was quoted by him and yet what he said when i INITIALLY wanted to quit( i felt i had no reason to stay at first ) was that he didn't mind me as his teamate. ( Guess i should have taken it more literally ).

I really felt that the team had potential to move on because we had plenty training and even had a sponsor. However, the team issue probably dragged too long. He says that i've been trying to change him into a person he doesn't want to be. I admit that maybe i was too forceful on that AT FIRST. But after that day, i realise that it was the friendship that really kept me going and not my intention to turn him into a better person. Here's the absolute truth, it was the WCG 2005 that really made me felt bonded. It was the first time i had stayed overnight out with a guy friend and that really hit the spot. The truth be told i was actually driven by the fact that i wanted to protect him from making the same mistake of not treasuring someone while he / she is still around ( from his past relationships ). But it seems that a guy-girl thing is differently treated from a guy-guy thing.

I still have the photo of him crying.

-a thought was left behind and remembered here @'
12:33 AM