-Feel me.-

Well it took a long time before i could bring myself to start blogging probably because of the mixed feelings i have and also the compys coming up. Anyway now i'm starting to blog based on Mitch Albom's books namely : " The Five People You Meet In Heaven".

Sacrifice, You made one. I made one. We all make them. But i was angry over mine. I kept thinking about what i had lost.

I didn't get it . Sacrifice is part of life. It's supposed to be.

I started to re-read this book again because i felt that his books really have something worth thinking about. As for the above, i can relate to because i myself made a sacrifice. By trusting Jason. Time and time again i manage to put myself up there to trust someone whom im not sure i could believe. Even after a long period of totally giving up on him being a friend, i still went ahead again to believe him. Why?

My theory on Friendship.

A : He/She's a friend.
B : He/She's not a friend.

There are four possible outcomes.
A is true. - Obviously this is what we are all looking for.
A is false. -
B is true. - Since u didn't take the step forward and by some other matter proving that B is false,
u didn't get hurt and maybe relish in making the correct choice
B is false. -

So here's the choice. Would u rather make mistake 1) A is false.- You took a leap and ended up that he/she did not become your friend. Hurt may be caused. EMO. -OR-
2) B is false. - You didn't take the leap but it turned out that he/she was a good friend indeed. EMO.

From this 2 choices, if u have to make either one. If u had chosen,
1) You are daring and would like to make as many friends as possible, despite the risks involved.
2) I think now maybe i've become this kind of people. Maybe due to past experiences, too much hurt feelings caused you to withdraw and therefore not interested in socialising, thus giving up chances of making new friends, for fear of the unknown.

I was one of those 1) because i really just want to make more friends although most of them are guys. (i can say im an expert on guys thinking=x). So yea now that my trust had been upsetted time and time again it seems as though i may never be able to trust again.

Here's an observation i've made about guys.

The ritual of semaphore with his father had begun, forsaking words and PHYSICAL affection. It was all to be done internally . You were supposed to know it, that's all. Denial of Affection. The damage done by parents to their children.

I noticed that because of the above paragraph that caused what other people deemed as conservative (which i think is just utter crap =P) in asian countries that most guys do not dare to be physical with each other. Even just a friendly hug nowadays would immediately be condemed as gayness. Therefore, because of my family history now, i desire even more for this, the drive to acquire the attention from a father, "a guy which cares for you" in my definition. Now whoever has read this now can stop pestering me about girlfriends liao cos now you know why. (HOWEVER THERE ARE A NO. OF HAWT GIRLS IN SKOOL U KNOW xP)

-a thought was left behind and remembered here @'
10:11 PM