-Feel me.-

I dunno whether i spelt eigth correctly but doesn't matter on with the topic! Dunno why i could think with the lecturer in front talking trash i've heard for the dunno how many times already but quite nice atmosphere ar the lecture theatre lol. Anyway the topic is on Questions and Answers.

You know sometimes when faced with difficulties suddenly like flood like that, Questions just come whooshing down and u stop, wondering why issit only now that these questions appeared in your life. All i can say is, you can't run away from your thoughts. It's your mind. This questions although they seem unfamaliar but i can be certain that they are @ the back of our minds. Why some people like me seem more emo is because the questions @ the back of our mind are constantly @ the front. We think deeper because we want to find answers or spent some time considering the possible solutions to the problems or try to console ourselves with better answers each time. But what i realised time and time again the final answer is that its not about the answer that we are trying to find out but how we are going to reach the answer.

Trust me on this because i've gone through this before. I tested my teamates for cs. Tested their characters. Tested how would they react to different situations. Tested everything. Because of all the testings, i think they lost their trust in me. But this brings us back to square 1.
Maybe it was me who lost my trust in them first.
Yet, from here, i realised that the only people who believed in my leadership was hongz and hype. That's because they believed that whatever i did no matter how cunning and sly it looked on the outside, they trusted me.

They knew it was for the best.

Maybe it was because they wanted a perfect team too. Or maybe i chose to believe that it was that they put their trust in me. Whichever the case, if karl u're reading this, the one and only person who can bring me to play cs is HypE. Now for the hurting moments. What really stabbed me in the heart was that i got stabbed by ivan & ken when they didn't believe anymore and even added fuel to the flames by insulting me.

That's the reason why i quit cs.

-a thought was left behind and remembered here @'
7:28 AM